• white people: im not racist i have a black iPhone
  • 59,849 notes

    narwhal-noir:

    I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

    151,868 notes

    do-raymi:

    Feelings suck and I don’t remember signing up for them.

    58,707 notes

    cockringtoss:

    religious views: breakfast for dinner

    20,833 notes